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so math today was... 'amazingly' succeeded in making me suffered a small headache, during the ancillary class. there are those freakin variables which had to be simplified and multiplied and divided... oh gosh, it's really tiring. ninth grade really is exhausting and brain racking. however, i'm happy to see my agenda fully written by tasks and activities. like i'm a busy person
anyway, i'm so sorry for not submitting any artworks lately. i'm just currently unispired by my surroundings, and am focusing on my school more than ever. also, i'm not exactly in the mood for editing any photos, cause my 'art side' for photoshop-ing is currently in faint and low-batteried.
inspiration, i can look for it anywhere, especially on the internet which provides endless virtual inspirations. i'm working on/writing some short stories, which were buzzing in my head lately like a lost lust. so did my artsy desire. i wanted to draw and continue my writings (i never finished any of my stories, except that it was a school assignment) but when i saw the broad white empty space in front of me, i just don't know what to... or how to... fill it. my mind just went COMPLETELY blank, like all the ideas that were buzzing and pictured vaguely in my head went straightly into BLANK-MODE. and they never come back. they just lost; like an unsaved file on a sudden computer shut down.
anyway, i'm so sorry for not submitting any artworks lately. i'm just currently unispired by my surroundings, and am focusing on my school more than ever. also, i'm not exactly in the mood for editing any photos, cause my 'art side' for photoshop-ing is currently in faint and low-batteried.
inspiration, i can look for it anywhere, especially on the internet which provides endless virtual inspirations. i'm working on/writing some short stories, which were buzzing in my head lately like a lost lust. so did my artsy desire. i wanted to draw and continue my writings (i never finished any of my stories, except that it was a school assignment) but when i saw the broad white empty space in front of me, i just don't know what to... or how to... fill it. my mind just went COMPLETELY blank, like all the ideas that were buzzing and pictured vaguely in my head went straightly into BLANK-MODE. and they never come back. they just lost; like an unsaved file on a sudden computer shut down.
the FAT theory
no matter how many weight i had lost
no matter how much difference that it has, comparing me now and then
i will always be 'thinner', not 'thin'.
today i do realize, that these new people that never met me when i was fat, of course notice that "nadine is fat". fat, fat, fat. that's what i call for myself when i'm depressed. such as... now?
don't worry, i won't be bulimic or infected anorexia. actually, to be 'real' honest, i insult myself for not being able to be one of those 'super-thins' or 'extremely thins'. i can't help it to eat, when i feel exhausted and it 'looks' like i've been doing lots of things that make me wring my brain or e
Thinner not thin
I cannot run from the fact that I was waaaaayyyy chubbier then, especially in 2007-2010. I thought the difference wasn't so far, but it actually was. Some of my bonestructures were more emerging than yesterday, and my face is longer. Despite the fact that I'm still about 15kg away from my goal weight (and 15 kg lighter than 7 grade) and sometimes feeling fat (okay, that's true, I am still fat) and pinching myself,...
I do enjoy these compliments from people telling me that I'm thinner :)
7 grade: a chubby junior, enjoying my class (7.2: best class ever! -nevermind this one's personal spirit)
8 grade: tears and anger on first semester (I wa
prolog
i just can't have a suave/friendly and universal start, can i?
so, on my first journal i wrote about me forsaking my blog temporarily. well, sorry for not-so-understandable-introduction. let's call it as... one of the reasons i write this journals. "a blog" as i observed, had been an onus // "thoughtful burden" if you grasp what that means :P // for me, because, i realized, i barely had a life with "it". a blog, sort of, kept bothering me to observe things and be thoughtful about it (damn, i'm a teenager! i can't be "that thoughtful" and wrote poetic things and be a loner. it already destined that teens are supposed to be having fun)
"to wr
it wasn't very hard to do after all: leaving
i am leaving my blog, which i used to be super-passionate about, because somehow it drives my brain and heart crazy. i realized i have 'sort of' devoted my life&experiences for it. for something that is 'definitely' is not mortal. truly virtual, made out of wireless connection and pixels.
i did not delete it, because i am planning to come back, as soon as i got new interesting stories to tell; and of course, a good/advanced english and new vocabularies.
i am in my last year of junior high and can be called "the senior of junior". me and my friends were burdened/haunted by the upcoming national exam, as always as the senior of a ladder. i am
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